I cannot believe my stupidity! I was so excited over an event that i overlooked the dates...

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Anyway, something's brewing somewhere, and I really hope it doesn't blow out of promotion, especially when my active lifestyle is at stake.

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Hmm,,, I remember having written something about my trip to Gabaldon here. But I'm too uninterested in continuing.


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I have noticed a lot of things lately. I have lots of journals, both manual and electronic, traditional and advanced, paper and screen. :sigh: Anyway, not that it highly matters, I told you that I just notice these things.

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What is it like to grow up? I haven't properly grown, and I would probably do a Peter Pan and sweep off to Neverland. I have this organized 4-year plan in my brain that somehow keeps me sane in times of recurring convulsions. I haven't realized the fear of the future yet, but I know it will suddenly pop out of the bush and scare the living shit out me. I remember an article wherein the author wrote that on her college graduation day, she sat down in the ceremony only in gratitude for her parents, whereas on her high school graduation, she shed tears. How sad, isn't it? To give up a youth that would never have replaced the best wedding day in your entire life?

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Looking around, I suddenly feel guilty at typing and wasting my internet card. I could've written this in my journal or in my PC first before copying it here. But where would the spontaneity be? I guess I've realized again that some things have to be sacrificed in order to achieve another.
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I have unwinded. Releasing myself from the coil which has stretched my bearings brings me to a surreal plane wherein I find peace.

Lately, I found myself battling in unknown terrain, and I am completely overwhelmed by the repercussions. I have surrendered, as I am a pacifist.

Let us rejoice.

We are shipped of to the farthest ends of the earth, and we have no sight of what is to come. We are sheeps led to the slaughter, and we have remained blissfully blind to the fate the awaits. We are calm.

Our denial of the truth has suffocated us into throwing ourselves in lavish luxuries. While luxuriate languidly, our souls twist and turn, forever aware of the end. We ignore these pressures. We are calm.

Nothing witll remain alive when the heavens strike. No soul will be spared. And only then shall we lie down the earth, closing our eyes, still unseeing, to the final destination of this ephemeral journey we have been forced to endure. We are calm.

Ooooohhh, I am in such a big dilemma... my friendships are at stake. Damn weather. It's been raining for two days, no classes for two days, and the river is overflowing. There are two typhoons near the country, another one's coming, and what do you know? I have lots of examinations tomorrow! O what fun.

Then i have this training climb cancelled because of the bloody weather, which was postponed to next weekend, which happens to be the birthday of my sister and my friend. I can't believe I have to miss their birthdays for my selfish reasons! It's true, i am deliberately missing their birthdays so that i can get in organization I'm applying for.

If you can see the image I have posted, it is of little significance. I am torn between two decisions, so I deviate.

Hormones are bloody stressful!!!! UNcooperative. I cannot think straight, I dash around madly, zipping through lines and crosses like cutter slicing through cardboard. Yep... that hard. And insanity doesn't help matters... the full moon is nearing, damn it. To anyone who may recognize this symptom, thank you for understanding. For those who may wish to comment, I hope you know what it feels like.

It's like being back in the good old days when you are stuffed to your nostrils with things you don't even need in life. But you inhale it anyway, thinking it might do you some good.